Falling In love with Mathematics

The simplicity of studying what i study

When I was in high school, math was just like every other subject, an extra set of homework to get done. I didn't dislike it, but I didn't particularly care for it either. That was until it became a problem. The way I see it, learning math is like building a chain, each piece of knowledge linked and connected, and a missing link just meant one sick week, one bad teacher for a term, or just a period where you didn't study as much, and suddenly it all becomes harder moving forward. Now, I started to think maybe I am not as peers in math. After all, everyone has a certain level of talent for these things, and I probably just don't make the cut.

“The mathematician’s patterns, like the painter’s or the poet’s, must be beautiful; the ideas, like the colours or the words, must fit together in a harmonious way. Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the world for ugly mathematics.” ― G.H. Hardy, A Mathematician's Apology.

It wasn't until I was exposed to science and mathematics in a different light that I began to take an interest in the subject. My introduction to Sci-fi books, with its futuristic concepts and mind-bending possibilities, sparked a newfound interest in the subject. I realized that mathematics was not just a set of abstract rules and formulas, but a tool to explore and understand the intricacies of the universe. The beauty of mathematical patterns, as G.H. Hardy eloquently put it, started to reveal itself. At this point, starting out in undergrad, I could have chosen physics, which seemed more applicable. However, I opted for mathematics because I found certain things about it cool.

Certain things like the puzzle-like nature of proofs (most of them) and the satisfaction I got from connecting the dots just made me more interested in exploring at a much deeper level.

However, being interested in mathematics doesn't make it easy. As my interest grew, so did the challenges. Unlike high school, university mathematics demands a level of rigor and precision I've grown to enjoy but not fully gotten used to. Interest alone didn't guarantee mastery of the subject.

As I went deeper, I started to realize that my proficiency in the subject was a reflection of my dedication and hard work rather than an innate measure of intelligence. The societal perception that excelling in math equates to being exceptionally smart only added to the pressure. But I came to understand that intelligence takes many forms, and mathematical aptitude is just one facet.

I'm at a point in my life where I thought of why I study what I study. The questions of why I like it or if I truly like it cross my mind very often, and sometimes I have to convince the curious person that I am no nutcase for studying an academically challenging degree for which there is a popular consensus that it's a degree meant for teachers.

A simple answer is I like mathematics because it's cool. With my minor exposure to proofs and more rigorous truths, I thoroughly enjoy the rush I get from cracking a very difficult problem but also dislike the frustration that comes with being stuck.

Now, at a point in my life where I reflect on my academic choices, I find myself defending my passion for mathematics. There's a prevailing notion that pursuing a math-related degree is reserved for future teachers, and I often need to explain why I chose this path. The truth is, that mathematics has become more than just a subject for me. It's a journey of self-discovery, a pursuit of beauty in patterns, and a testament to my resilience and dedication. Studying mathematics isn't about conforming to societal expectations, but about embracing a challenge that continuously pushes the boundaries of my understanding. It's a choice that reflects not just my academic interests, but also my commitment to personal growth and intellectual exploration.